OBVIOUSLY! I was done a long time ago, but whatever.
So, we left with the instructions to meet with our perinatologist to determine the safest possible route of delivery, in other words to find out if I was going to be able to physically push K4’s 90 percentile head out of me. Vaginal or cesarean, we were hours away from meeting this being that had been making me blissfully miserable for the past 38 weeks.
After making sure his head was proportionate to his body & that he wasn’t 9 lbs., the doctor said I was good to deliver vaginally. Actually, he said his wife was about my size and she delivered his 8+ lbs. son vaginally, therefore I shouldn’t have a problem. I would have rather him base his decision on my personal situation or even better yet, medicine, but whatever.
Around 5 pm we make our way to the hospital game faces on, READY. Then reality sets in once were in the delivery room…HOLY SHIT WE ARE HAVING A BABY...HOLY SHIT WE ARE GOING TO BE PARENTS…HOLY SHIT THIS IS HAPPENING.
I’m tagged team by 2 nurses, one is asking me questions & the other one is hooking me up to monitors, sticking needles in me, & (OUCH) checking me. They stick a patch on my cervix to assist in ripening, it stays in me for 12 hours.
At midnight, my blood pressure is high enough that it puts me at risk for seizures, so they start me on magnesium & place me on bedrest. (bedrest=placement of urinary catheter, damn my luck, OUCH)
So, I spent the early morning of the 30th feeling congested, having hot flashes, and extremely uncomfortable.
6:45 am, they remove the patch & start the pitocin.
At 9:30 I’m 4cm & ready for my epidural. By 10 o’clock Ken says it’s the most relaxed I’ve been in 10 months, except of course when the epidural loses its effectiveness, thankfully my anesthesiologist is there to manually push a stronger dose of the epidural medication. Until, I’m about 8cm & the epidural wears completely off. Conveniently my anesthesiologist is in a c-section & K4 is telling me to push, so now I’m having to breath through the contractions, which I’m feeling 150% and NOT PUSH, I’m told it’s not time, WTF none of this was part of my birth plan. They remove the existing epidural & attempt to place a second one, three tries later it’s in and I can’t feel anything from the waist down, WONDERFUL. At some point my water semi ruptures, so my doctor has to fully break it with what looks like a crochet hook. After that they tell me I’ve lost a lot of fluid so they have to place yet another device inside me, SIGH. An intrauterine pressure catheter is placed, to measure the exact force of my contractions & just in case I need an amnioinfusion.
Before I know it, it’s time to push. An hour, 2 cuts, & a vacuum to the head later K4 is out of my body. I don’t cry. I cried when I read Twilight and I don’t cry at my own child’s birth? Is there something wrong with me? My arms and legs are mush. Then I feel the stitches, every pull of every stitch, in and out. I can hear Kenny, my brother & sister-in-law, oohing & ahhing. I’m exhausted & still wondering why I’m not crying. Shouldn’t I cry at the own birth of my child? I just lay there quiet, uncomfortable, yet relieved.
They change the sheets underneath me & rip the tape off of my back…the pain never ends…
They put him on my chest. I finally cry, then we both fall asleep.